therefore remember

I don't really know where this post is going to go. But I was just thinking... God is really, really good. I mean really, really good. I have noticed how many times God tells us to remember. He tells Joshua to a build memorial stone so the Israelites won't forget that God was faithful in bringing them into the Promise Land (Joshua 4). He tells His people in Numbers to wear tassels so they don't forget God's Law (Numbers 15:39). Paul says in Ephesians 2:11 to "Therefore Remember". It is all over scripture. God tells us to remind ourselves of His goodness and not to forget Him, because, inevitably, we will.


"Therefore remember" has been a theme this year with Off The Wall. We constantly remind each other to remember Gods goodness in our lives and reflect on it.

This week, I have had some time to get away and just sit and remember. God always seems to quietly speak His love to me when I remember. My furthest memory goes back to China, when I was two or three. I remember waking up early one morning on a train. My parents and I were traveling from our home city, to a town way out in the country. Often times, we took overnight trains, or sleepers, as I like to call them. There were two bunk beds in our cabin. I remember waking up to the sun pouring into the cabin as the train started to slow down. I was alone and I remember standing on the table, peering out the window at the sun. It was so bright that morning. There was miles and miles of farmland spread out across the horizon. I remember standing there, on that table, in a cabin, on a sleeper train, realizing that God was with me. It wasn't a conscious thought I had to choose to make. I just knew. God was with me in China.

It always humbles me when I think about how God has was watching me grow up. He knew me before I entered my mothers womb, and He has always been with me. Whenever I reflect on my childhood, I am brought to a place of awe for my Creator. To know that He knows all things, and has been guiding my life from day one is an amazing and wonderful truth. And now, as I have left my teenage years, He continues to guide me and direct my path.

It is quite a journey, following Jesus. The best part is not needing to know where I am going in this life, but trusting that He already knows and will get me there.

I would encourage you to take some time, and reflect on the goodness of God. Therefore remember that He is with you and always will be. He will never leave you or forsake you. He is your King, your Savior, your Lord, your Friend, but most of all, He is your Daddy. Run into His arms and know that He is good.


JN

friendship

I am writing from a Moody dorm room that overlooks a large part of downtown Chicago. I am not the biggest city guy, but this one is beautiful. The Sears tower lights up at night, and I can see the flashing purple from my friends window. This week, I got to spend two days with two of my closest friends here in Chicago. It was so funny seeing them again. It had been almost a year since I saw one of them, but nothing had changed. I love friendship. I was reminded these past few days at Gods goodness through friendship. My relationships with people are one of the most important part of my life in my walk with Christ. I was reminded at how great friendships never grow stale. They pick up right where they leave off. Mike, Tyler, and I are all in different places now, then when we met. Different things are going in our lives, but friendship remains the same. I love that about God. He brings so much joy and contentment to godly friendships.

I am realizing more and more how meaningless life would be if I had to live it alone. I am thankful that God has blessed me with brothers and sisters who have the same heart and same mindset as I do. I was really encouraged this weekend to know that my bros over here at Moody are running to Christ just as fast or even faster than I am. It is really humbling and exciting to watch.

Yesterday the three of us played Frisbee on a beach in the city for over an hour. It was beautiful. 70 degrees and the water was pristine blue. It was just like old times. Except we were not in Costa Rica, we were in Chicago.

I think human relationships are vital in spiritual growth, as well as contentment, and significance. Thank you God for being a God who desires relationship with us and created relationship with others.

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:25


from a dorm overlooking the city that hasn't been so windy,

JN

our true home

I have been sitting at a table in the Daily Grind for about 4 hours now. I went to see a good friend of mine this weekend at his college in western PA, so naturally, I did not get any school work done and I had a bunch of it pile up on me. So my Saturday has pretty much consisted of studying, writing, and more studying.

For my college writing class, I have to respond to a reading every night. The class is more of a philosophy class then an English class. The theme for the semester seems to be "Being Reflexive". Being reflexive basically means being open to our ideas changing as we read different texts as they impact us. My prof would say the purpose of being reflexive is to "achieve a greater self awareness." It sounds nice. It has a real lets go sit at Starbucks and debate philosophy into the late hours of the night while non-nonchalantly sipping a decaf mocha Java espresso that's cup is recyclable and gives 10% of its cost to hungry children in Africa so we can feel good about ourselves as we contribute to the environmental movement and humanitarian efforts made my individuals who are not sitting at Starbucks drinking decaf mocha Java espressos.

It has occurred to me while sitting in my College Writing 1 class how different my world view is as a follower of Jesus than a secularist. My prof regularly asks questions like "who are we", "what is the self", and "what is the purpose of reflexivity?". These are all very good, and essential questions to ask as humans. But my prof's answers to those questions directly contradict mine.

My prof's answers:

Who am I? I am made up of all my past experiences. My past experiences define me.

What is the self? The self is the "core I" that has been buried under all of my past experiences. The experiences have shaped me so much that it is difficult to know when the "Core I" or the "true self" emerges.

What is the purpose of reflexivity? To achieve a greater self- awareness and better understand the "core I".


My answers, which are what God has declared in His Word

Who am I? I am Joshua Nims, a son of the Most High God, a friend of Jesus Christ, and a co-heir to the universe. (Ephesians 1:5-10, Colossians 3:1)

What is the self? The self is who God had uniquely made me to be. I am defined by who God created me to be and the spirit He put in me. My past experiences do not define me because my past has been redeemed by the blood of Jesus. (Psalm 139, specifically verse 14, Ephesians 1, Romans 6-8)


What is the purpose of being reflexive? There is no need to discover any new self awareness because there is none. I am a son of God. My purpose is to love Jesus and love people. Nothing else matters. (Matthew 22:38)


All this comes down the one question that my prof and I answer very differently. Where is my true home? Is my true home this Earth? Or is it in God's eternal Kingdom? If my home is this earth, and there is no life after death, then my professors answers to these questions make sense.

But I have experienced the living God, and I know that this place I am confined by in this temporal body is not my eternal home. My residence is in Heaven, with Jesus Christ.


2 Corinthians 5:1-5

"Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come."

Ephesians 2:19-22

"Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God’s people and members of God’s household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit"

Our perspective has everything to do with how we live and how we view people. I am finding this out more and more as each day passes.


from the coffee shop down the street,

JN

The Heart of Life

Life is funny. It has been speeding up on me these past few months. Really this entire year it has felt like life has been moving at an incredible pace. My 19th year started here in the home I grew up in. 2 weeks later I was in a car driving to Ohio to start my internship with Off The Wall Ministry. The next 11 months were filled with beautiful friendships being made, many moments when I could not contain my laughter and ended up on the floor, many mistakes, but many learning experiences above all else.
It feels like I packed 5 years into the last one, and I did not realize this until I came home this weekend.

The Heart of Life by John Mayer is one of my favorite songs. It is the title of my blog.

"I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then the circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good"


I love the chorus. Pain throws your heart to the ground. love turns the whole thing around. No, it won't go all the way it should... but I know the Heart of Life is good.

I have been reflecting on my life this weekend. Specifically, the 19 years before I moved to Ohio. Those memories are one of the most precious gift God has given me. Through them, I see how God has worked in me and reflecting on His goodness in my life, He brings me a sense of peace, joy, and....contentment. I would agree with Henry David Thoreau when he says regarding being content in life:

simplify, simplify, simplify


May you know that you are loved by the Creator. May you meditate on that truth and embrace His love. He gives us so many good things in life. Flowers. Trees. Laughter. Family. Books. Music. Sunsets. Feelings. Love.

But the best gift of all us Himself. With out that, all else is a chasing after the wind. We are blown in every direction because we don't have a Rock to stand on.
May Jesus be your Rock, and may you know that the Heart of Life is good.



JN

Jesus and me

Today is the eve of my twentieth year of life. Tomorrow I will no longer be a teenager. A crazy thought. I have been thinking about if for the last few months. It hit me yesterday when I looked in the mirror how quickly time is passing. I got a flashback to my sophomore year in high school when I chose to skip a section of MCAS testing to sit in a bathroom stall and pray. That moment feels like it was only a few months ago. It was over 3 years. I was 16.

In the short 20 years of my life, I have come to know one truth about life. Jesus.
If there is anything that right now I can confidently say about who I am, it is that Jesus Christ is the most important person in my life. Although I do not always live in a manner that would bring Him glory, I know He loves me. He loves me regardless of what I have done and what I will do. He loves me the way I am. He loves me.

I have a hard time understanding that truth. But I do not think it is only meant to be understood. I think it is meant to be felt.

Jesus Christ is the only thing that makes me wake up and get out of bed in the morning. I do not know what I would do if I had to live one day without Him. I would want to die if that was the case.

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose"

-Jim Elliot, died after being speared though the heart by a native people group in Ecuador in the 1940's. He was a husband and a father, and one of the first missionaries to Ecuador.

I pray that the Church of America would not desire to die for the gospel, but that we would live for it.

Whenever I leave this Earth, I know it is because God is done with me down here. I know that my death is in His Sovereign plan, and until that day comes, (or maybe it won't!!) there is work to be done.

"Our Father,
who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be Thy name,
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us our day our daily bread,
and forgive our trespasses as we forgives those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the Kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever and ever.

Amen"

"All authority in Heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. Do not worry, I will be with you to the very end of the age"

-Jesus Christ





embarking on a new journey of life in my 20th year,


Curtis Joshua Ernest Nims

life

its been a weird few weeks. long. awesome. tiresome. shocking. all at the same time. School has started up for me. It is the fourth week and it is in full gear. So is life.

It is crazy to me how many things can be happening at once time. Sometimes i don't know how we handle it all. I am supposed to be writing an essay for my College Writing class right now, but I feel i need to get my thoughts on paper. so this is the closest thing to paper i got at the moment.

Note: this blog will be just some of my random thoughts about life. i probably won't spell check it.

blogging is werid. liek i have this space and i can put anything i want on it and anyone can read it. i realize that. but at the same time, it is just a bunch of letters strung together in a sequence that delivers a message. what i write goes deeper that what appears on my screen. i can't put my full heart on a web page. i don't even know sometimes what is going on in my heart, or if anything is going on.

sometimes i really suck at listening to people. i have my own agenda sometimes about what i want to talk about. listening is really hard

i think friendships are the most important thing god has given us down here. i dont understand why i am so drawn to value money above faith.

in the midst of these thoughts, i think about what it means to be selfless. is being selfless, me confessing things on my blog for the whole world to see if I want them to tell me how "genuine" or "unselfish" i am? something i have been thinking about lately.

god is really creative. i laughed a lot this week at how different men and women are.


what does good mean? how do we know?

was that question to existential for you? do i even know what existential means?

i have to go to the bathroom really bad. and i am getting a text. i am going to kill two birds with one stone.


...and then write that english paper.


my name is actually curtis, not joshua

C(J)EN

my thoughts on what it means to give Jesus everything

I have been wondering the last few days... do we really get it? I mean Christianity. Do we really love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and strive to love our neighbor as ourself? How do we live out our love for Christ in the midst of a materialistic and egotistical 21st century post modern society?

So many people in our country claim to have faith these days. Some even say they have faith in Jesus as their Lord and Savior. But what do their lives look like? How do we know we delight in Jesus, and nothing more? Is my deepest desire to be with Jesus? Do I want Jesus more than anything else?

I was thinking about that yesterday... whether I love Jesus and want Him more than anything else. If I am being honest with myself, then sadly, there is one aspect of my future life (hopefully) that is right up there with Jesus. Jesus calls us to give him everything. We don't like that in America. There are days where I am like "Why, Lord do I have to give you everything?". It sucks. Lets be real here. The process of sanctification absolutely sucks. Conviction, repentance, vulnerability, and rawness is painful. But the funny thing is, the more you repent and give your life to Christ daily, the more freeing it becomes... until... He shows you that one thing you are still holding on to. In my case, that one thing is marriage. I want to get married someday and have a family with a woman I am crazy in love with. But I also think that I am holding onto marriage for myself, not for Christ. Now, I do not believe this is a bad, or a sinful desire. It can remain selfish or can be conformed to the glory of God. It says in Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." What I believe God wants from me, is for me to give Him my desire to get married. He wants me to trust Him that if He chooses not to bless me with a woman after His own heart, then He has another plan in my life that will bring Him glory. And If I love Jesus, then I should be willing to submit to whatever that plan is.

Now, I really hope that God chooses to give me a wife. But if He does not, I have to be okay with that. Marriage is not eternal. It is temporary. Making disciples is eternal and will matter in the Kingdom. It is funny...the man who told me that, is the only man I know who I believe when he says that he has no desire to get married and only serve Christ in making disciples. But that is a hard truth to grasp and believe and take joy in for a guy like me, who is a sucker for romantic movies and wants nothing more on Earth than to grow old with a woman, serving the Lord together faithfully until we die or He comes.

"If any of you does not renounce all he has, he cannot be my disciple"
Luke 14:33


The cost of discipleship is a high price. It costs us everything. But it is worth it. We get Jesus, the one who made it possible for me to sit in this coffee shop on this lap top and type as I breathe in oxygen to my lungs and process what I am writing and at the same time thing about all the other things I have to do today. We get Jesus in eternity. Forever. And I know in my heart there is nothing more valuable on Earth than that.


JN