a year

This past Sunday marked my 1 year anniversary with Off The Wall Ministry. I meant to write this on Sunday, but I haven't had the time to sit down and gather my thoughts until now. In this blog, I am going to recap some memories and how I have seen Christ change me this past year in Ohio.

October 11, 2009, my first day with Off The Wall Ministry

I had just turned 19. It was my first time ever living away from home. I came to Ohio with a lot of insecurties. I was fearful that people would not accept me. I was unsure of who I was and I really cared about what people thought of me. People's opinions of me defined my identity. But I wanted that to change. I wanted to discover how God made me and what He has gifted me in. I wanted to know why I believe in Jesus and if following Him for the rest of my life is really what I wanted. And so God got to work...

Mid February 2010

I originally planned to stay for 5-6 months. I knew in my heart that God had called me to Off The Wall Ministry. I had heard His call. But I fought it. I fought it from October through February. I was extremely discontent, impatient, and frantic during those months. I told myself that living in Colorado going to a Mountain College was going to make me happy. I also told myself that spending the summer in Costa Rica would make me content. I thought that experiences would bring me satisfaction in life. One day, God asked me if I was going to keep running forever, or allow Him to do His will in my life. I reluctantly chose to surrender my desires to Him. I committed to Off The Wall for another year.

end of July 2010

I was sitting on a porch Kihei, Hawaii, that overlooked the pacific ocean. My family rented a condo on the beach for a week on Maui. I was reflecting on the past 9 months of my life. I missed my Off The Wall family. I wanted to go back that minute. I had spent 6 weeks away with my mom, dad, sister, and actually wanted to trade my last few days in Maui to be with the Off The Wall team. I knew this is where I was called to serve the Lord, and was ecstatic about it. Looking back, I can see how through me being stubborn and fighting God, He took me to a place where I realized nothing in life would give me purpose and contentment other than following Him.

Today, October 13th, 2010

I am sitting on my bed. The house is empty. I have class in an hour. I know this is where God has called me to be. I am not fearful anymore about being accepted by people. I know I am accepted in Christ. He is my identity and He is my life. There is not any place in the world I could go that could fill a hole in my heart that longs for acceptance. Christ fills that hole. I am more content now then I ever have been in my life. I know this is the community I am going to serve the Lord with for a good part my early 20's. I have made a 2 year commitment to Off The Wall Ministry through the summer of 2012, but I have a feeling I will be here longer. I will be going on staff in 2011 as the guys discipleship House Leader.
I have discovered a few of my passions and giftings, and surely enough they are one in the same. I want to disciple men for the rest of my life and I want to lead people in worship to encounter their Creator.



God has been asking me for a long time, if I trust Him that He will give me the desires of my heart. It has been a hard process. God is always showing me areas in my life that I do not trust Him in. He is still working on me, but I can confidently say that now, I believe Psalm 37:4 more than I ever have. Life is an amazing journey. I am convinced that following Christ is about giving up control of our lives and following Him where ever He leads us. The funny thing is, now that I have done that, I don't want to be anywhere else. I feel so much freedom in knowing this is where I am supposed to be. And it is pretty sweet.

It will be funny writing a blog a year from now and seeing how the Lord continues to work in my life and in the lives of those around me.


I look forward to a great year of learning and growth in life,



JN