You're Beautiful

There is a song out by Phil Wickham called You're Beautiful. It may be one of the most emotionally stimulation songs I have ever heard. He paints a beautiful picture of what entering into to Presence of God might be like. If you get a chance to listen to it, do it. It is my favorite song right now.

Here are the lyrics:

I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You're beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It's all proclaiming who You are
You're beautiful, You're beautiful

I see You there hanging on a tree
You bled and then You died and then You rose again for me
Now You are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You're beautiful, You're beautiful

When we arrive at eternity's shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we'll sing
You're beautiful (x2)

I see Your face,
You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful

I see Your face,
You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful

beauty

I am writing this from a cabin in Alaska. Snow crested mountains surround this cozy home in the middle of the woods. I have always dreamed of living in a place like this, and now I think I understand why some people move away from metropolitan areas, and spend their entire lives surrounded by beauty.

Beauty is an interesting word. Webster defines it as "something or someone that gives pleasure to the senses". We use beautiful to describe a sunrise, or a mountain, or a snowfall. We also use it to describe a person's appearance. I think it is more than something ascetically appealing.

Is beauty limited to finite objects? Is beauty more than a word used to describe? I think beauty must derive from something, it must derive someone... someone that is not confined by time or matter.

In the opening paragraph of the gospel of John, John declares Jesus as the Word, and he says "The Word was God. All things were made through Him, and without him was not anything made that was made." Paul calls Jesus the "Lord over all creation" in Colossians 1:15.

I think humans recognize beauty in things and people, because the One who embodies beauty, The Beautiful One, is beautiful. He made the earth beautiful, because He in essence is beauty, and His creation reflects His beauty.

May the Beautiful One captive your heart and your life today.

JN

The biggest life lesson I learned this past year with Off the Wall

So I have had a really busy summer. That is part of the reason I haven't went on this blog since June. Now, almost 2 months later, I feel like there is a lot I need to write. Many things can happen in 2 months, and when life gets busy, usually changes happen.

I feel like every other day I have either been driving somewhere or flying somewhere. In the wee hours of this past Wednesday morning, I stepped off an airplane from Denver and set foot in my home state, Massachusetts for the first time in 2 weeks. Earlier this summer, my parents surprised me by telling me that we were going to Maui, Hawaii as a family for a week after we spent a week in California. I haven't been to Hawaii since I was one, so I don't remember it. I really enjoyed our trip to Hawaii.

I had a lot of time to reflect. There were a few mornings when I woke up really early and couldn't get back to sleep. We had a condo right on the beach, so our porch looked right out at the Pacific Ocean and another Hawaiian Island. It was the most beautiful view from a porch I have ever seen. Anyway, so I got thinking and praying. It was about 5 am and the sun was just starting to come up. I thought about my life. I thought about highschool, and my year with Off The Wall Ministry in Ohio. I thought about this next year where I am going to be going to college at Kent State University while remaining at the Off The Wall house. I thought about how I want to be a high school teacher and a basketball coach, and how I am going to make that possible. I thought about marriage. I think about marriage a lot. I know I am not even 20, but at my age, I guess most people start to think about it. I thought about how I love all the relationships the Lord has brought into my life this past year. I really miss them. I really miss my Ohio crew. Honestly, two months ago, I was so ready to leave Ohio. I needed time away. I needed time with my parents, my sister, and my really good friends that have known me my entire life. But then, that morning on the porch in Maui, I realized I was ready to go back, and I really wanted to go back. I actually would have rather been in Ohio for the last 2 days of my Maui vacation.

And it is so ironic that I say that. 1 year ago, I established the direction of life by going somewhere. I wanted to go to college in Colorado because I love the place. I wanted to spend 3 months in Switzerland because of the alps. I wanted to go to Costa Rica for the summer because of the rain forest, mountains, and beach. God knew that my heart sought after an adventure with Him, not just Him. The idea of adventure thrilled me more than the Creator (who is the creator of adventure). I have come to see this past year that following Jesus has little to do with your physical destination. It has everything to do with the people who accompany you. The relationships I have with my team in Ohio mean more than any vacation to Hawaii or any mountain I could climb.

I couldn't think of any other title for this blog other than the reason I am writing it. So, this biggest lesson I learned this year in Ohio, is, that relationships are far more important, fulfilling, and joyful than any experience I could ever have alone.

My relationship with the Lord needs so much more growth. Much of the time I feel like I love God with my head, but not my heart. I am still learning what it means to love God with everything, specifically my heart. And as good old John Piper would say,

(this is me paraphrasing)

"your love for God is not defined by what you do, or what you say. You know you truly love Him if at the very base of your soul, your deepest desire is Christ, and He is your utmost affection, joy and happiness"

I probably totally butchered that quote.


So, I am very excited to get back to Ohio. The smell of cow manure and corn awaits me, and I can't wait to greet it.

As for the direction of my life, this is what I know:

I am starting my freshmen year of college in the fall at Kent State University
My ambition is to become a high school teacher, either in Math, History, or English
I want to coach Varsity basketball as well
If the Lord directs me to a life in overseas missions, I would be ecstatic.
But If I am called to stay in the States, raise a family, and impact and disciple high schoolers, I will do that joyfully until He returns.

I have no 5 year plan. Anything could change. I don't know what tomorrow brings. Living in the present, preparing for the future is all I can do.

I love Jesus, I love the life He has given me to life, and I am ready to rock and roll.


JN

Wow. Its been a while since I last wrote a blog. It is funny how in our lives, there are stretches of time when life seems stagnant or "normal" for use of a better word. And then something happens and life seems to pick up and get interesting or exciting. I used to really live on those moments, when it's like life is thriving and new, exciting things are being birthed in me and others around me. But this past year here in Ohio, for the most part life has been slow, steady, and simple. I have learned to appreciate it.

I want to share a story that happened to me about 3 weeks ago. It really encouraged me then, and I have been meaning to get it on here. About 3 weeks ago, I got a car up in Boston and flew home and then the following day, drove it back to Ohio with my parents.

I was flying out of Akron-Canton airport, a small regional airport with about only 10 gates. Luckily, they have cheap flights to Boston, and Akron is only 30 minutes away. AirTran hadn't assigned me a seat, so I had the luxury of choosing it for myself. I looked at all the seats on the plane, and their was a row in the back that was completely open, so I chose the window seat, expecting to be comfortably undisturbed for the flight to Boston. I love the window seat. I always have. I remember as a little kid flying over the Rockies and just starting at the mountains below. When we flew to China, I was always mesmerized by the mountains of clouds and the gigantic expanse of the blue waters of the Pacific below.

So I boarded the plane, found my seat, sat down, and looked out the window at all the guys loading our baggage onto the plain. As the plane filled up, the two seats next to me were still empty, and it was looking like I would be alone in my row, the way I wanted it. Sometimes I like talking to strangers on a plane, but that day, I just wanted to be alone in my thoughts looking out the window.

Just then, I see this old Chinese couple walk down the aisle approaching my empty row. I quickly looked around and saw that there were no empty seats anywhere except next to me, and realized that my hopes of a quiet flight home were destroyed. The couple was gabbing loudly in Mandarin and I thought to my self "they probably don't even speak English. I am going to have to have to listen to them talk the whole way home."

As the husband sat down in my row in the seat next to me, he turned, looked at me, and said "Happy Wednesday!, we are flying on a good day today! My name is John Wei. How are you." I was like "Oh crap. I am actually going to have to talk to this guy now." So politely, I told him I was doing well and flying home to Boston. Then He started asking me all the typical questions. "Where do you live now? Are you in school? What do you want to study?"

I told him I was with Off The Wall Ministry and planned to go to Kent State in the fall and eventually get a Secondary Ed. degree. Then he got really interested, and asked me about Off The Wall. I soon realized that this man was a fellow Christian and brother in the Lord. I felt bad about originally not wanting to talk. I knew he and his wife were from China because I recognized the tone of the language to be Mandarin. So I thought what the heck, why not see where in China they were from. Maybe they will know where Hefei is. (That is the city where my parents taught for 3 years). John told me that He only grew up in China for a few years and then came to America when he was a little boy and he doesn't remember much. So I told him that my parents were missionaries over there for 4 years. His wife asked me where. I told here in the Anhui province, in Hefei. Immediately his wife looks at me and goes "That is where my mother lives!".

I was dumbfounded. I just chuckled and laughed at God's humor. I ended up talking to John the whole way home. We pulled out a bible and shared our favorite verses with each other. We prayed for each other and exchanged out contact info. I hope to be in touch with him.

When I got to Logan Airport in Boston I just laughed as I told my paretns the story. They were just as amazed as I was.

It was a great reminder that God is God. He knows what He is doing. He has a plan for our lives. And He cares deeply about us. He knew I didn't really want to talk. He knew I needed to be encouraged. So he sent a Chinese couple who has been to the same city in China where I lived, to encourage me and fellowship for the plane ride.

I have a feeling that God isn't done with China in my life. He keeps bringing it back up. I see that more as I get older. Maybe one day I will go back and teach English and share the gospel, just like my parents. I am open to that, and whatever else The Lord would do.


thats it for now,

JN

change of perspective

It has been a while since I posted a blog. Partly because the spring schedule has kicked into full gear and partly because there has been nothing I wanted to blog about.

Today, I went for a run. It was a beautiful day, and there is a route I really like that takes me out of New Philly proper and into some farmland. It is about a 4 1/2 mile total run. About two miles in, just as I had run out of the city, I turned left onto a long narrow road that went right though a field. I had my Ipod in and was running at a comfortable pace, but I could not help but marvel at the fields to my left and right full of yellow daisy's. I have never seen the color yellow like that before! So, I stopped, and just stood there for a while. I walked the rest of the way on that road, and didn't really feel like running again. I didn't really care about finishing my run. Giving thanks to the Creator for the beauty of His creation was so much more desirable.

Isn't that what we do in our spiritual lives too? So often I find myself going so fast that I miss what is around me. For example, today in my weekly meeting with Don and Travis, I told them I haven't read anything in Scripture that has "stuck out". I think part of the reason that is, is that I read through the Word so fast that I don't even have an opportunity to take in it's beauty.

In his latest book, Primal, Mark Batterson talks about perspective in relation to the Word of God. He says:

The French writer Jacques Reda had a peculiar habit. He used to walk the streets of Paris with the intention of seeing one new thing each day. It was the way he renewed his love for the city. I think we need to renew out love for God the same way. Our love grows as we discover new dimensions of His personality, and His personality is primarily revealed in the pages of Scripture.

What if we approached Scripture the way Jacques Reda walked the streets of Paris?


So, I want to challenge myself, to really put myself in the stories of God's Story. I think I might find beauty that I completely missed.


JN

reflecting

Its crazy how fast time goes. I have been looking back through my facebook pictures this morning. It really is crazy. I am 19 years old. In 6 months I will be 20. I honestly cannot believe it. I won't be a teenager anymore. This past year has moved faster than any other year in my life. A year ago I was pacing around the halls of my highschool in the middle of class searching for a way to escape. Now, I would give anything to go back to those moments, and to enjoy them. Yeah, high school sucked for the most part, but there were those moments that are really special.

It is just crazy how fast this last year has gone. I graduated highschool, then went to Compass. I spent 10 days hiking in the Adirondacks, and then went to Costa Rica. I got home, went to NYC for a few days, then Soulfest. 2 weeks later I was in Colorado and Wyoming with my family for vacation. Then I got my wisdom teeth pulled out. And a few weeks later I left for Ohio. I've lived in Ohio for 6 months. I have grown so much. I can't even remember the kid I was when I came here.

Yesterday, I got my Ohio drivers license. They took my Massachusetts one away. This place is home now... wow.


I really miss my first home! There is this memory of highschool that always brings a smile to my face when I think about it. It was one of the proms I went to. It was my junior prom, which was actually 2 years ago. I remember looking around the room, and seeing all of my friends, dressed up. The guys, in tuxes, the girls in dresses. I took this girl named Aleigh. She looked incredible that night. I was probably really awkward... I had on a pink vest and a pink tie. And I don't know how to dance. I am more of a flailer. I remember sitting at the table eating dinner that night before the dance got going. There were way to many forks. I think I ate with my hands for most of the meal. I remember seeing Sy and Christi across the table from me. Dan Mulley was on my right. And Aleigh on my left. Luke was making the rounds to all the tables, as usual. That memory us at the table will be instilled in my mind forever. I wonder, if 25 years from now, that same group will be reunited at our highschool reunion. I can picture that day. All of us reminiscing about the past 25 years, wishing we could turn back time....

It just struck me that night at the table. Highschool isn't going to last forever.

So right now I am sitting on my porch in New Philaelphia, Ohio, about exactly 2 years later. Im watching all these cars go by. I wish I could go back in time. You know how sometimes you dream that you could watch yourself in the past? I wanna do that. I wanna watch myself that night. I wanna watch myself do some weird 80's discos dance while everyone around me is grinding. I wanna laugh at my awful table manners. I wanna watch myself take in the moment.

Wow. There it is. Taking in the moment. I have not done that for so long. It has been a constant "what is happening next?". "What is the next thing?".

I haven't just sat and soaked life in.


I read something today I just loved. It went something like this.

when we plan out our life, we miss God's plans for us. We miss what God has right in front of us.


Ireally don't wanna plan out my life. When I really think about it... wow. It would suck. Knowing exactly what is going to happen to me 5 years from now. Knowing what I will do next week? I don't want to know!

:)

I am going to go drink the company, smell the flowers, and take in the beauty of today.


I wrote this about a year ago. Its a song of mine that I don't ever play for some reason. I am going to start playing it again.


this is the memory
of what I failed to see
I thought I'd broke down
no chance of higher ground

each breath a mystery
unsure of being me
I was tring trying to figure out
what this life's about

is there more pain to breathe
is it worth living my own dreams
I've been feeling so empty
until He set me free

is this reality
cause now i sing

slow down... and look around
at what is right in front of me
what i didn't see
everything i thought i was
is now a memory of who i used to be

i've fallen out, of what i thought i was
i've figured it out now i look up to the clouds
and see the sight, of an everlasting dawn

i'll be waiting on West Beach
for the answer to one thing

you'll find me on the rocks
taking it in and giving it back
seeking a place to be and a Face to see
a Face that's changed me


JN

dawn over New Philly

I awoke at 5 am this morning. I was in the bathroom last night and I realized that in the past 6 months, I have never went on a morning adventure and watched the black morning sky get swallowed up by the dawn. So, I decided that today, I would change it up a bit, spend the first few hours of my day with The Lord, watching Him put the morning into motion.

I left the house by 5:30. I wasn't really sure what time the sun rose, I just figured it would be sometime within the hour. There is this hug hill that overlooks New Philly. I think it is about 1000 feet. There is this cell tower on the top of it, and there is this cliff that just drops straight down into the mucky river below. It is my favorite place in New Philly. It is really the only place I can go if I want to get completely alone. It is a long bike ride up there. It took me about 20 minutes, and most of it is an uphill stretch around the back side of the hill.

I think I got to the top around 6 o'clock. It was pitch black. The stars were still out. I really was amazing. If i looked to the west, I saw the bigger dipper, and in the distance, the outline of route 39 which leads into Amish Country. To the East, was New Philly, all lit up. Most of the 50,000 people below me were still asleep.

It took a while for the sun to rise. It actually rose at 7:33, so I was there for about an hour and a half. But it was awesome. When the light was bright enough for me to see, I flipped open my Bible, and read a few Psalms. I then read a passage in Hebrews I had never read before. I think it is pretty sweet. I'll share it with you.

Hebrews 12:18-29 says

You have not come to a mountain that can be touched and that is burning with fire; to darkness, gloom and storm; to a trumpet blast or to such a voice speaking words that those who heard it begged that no further word be spoken to them, because they could not bear what was commanded: "If even an animal touches the mountain, it must be stoned." The sight was so terrifying that Moses said, "I am trembling with fear."

But you have come to Mount Zion, to the heavenly Jerusalem, the city of the living God. You have come to thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, to the church of the firstborn, whose names are written in heaven. You have come to God, the judge of all men, to the spirits of righteous men made perfect, to Jesus the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.

See to it that you do not refuse him who speaks. If they did not escape when they refused him who warned them on earth, how much less will we, if we turn away from him who warns us from heaven? At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, "Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens." The words "once more" indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain.

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire."


Just think about that. We are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken. God is going to shake the heavens soon. I cannot image the chaos that will happen when the One that holds everything together, decides to let loose. I don't know what God will do, but I can just imagine planets exploding and colliding with each other. The battle of Armageddon will be a cosmic battle. God will restore everything. Its gonna be sweet.

Every time I think about the Kingdom of Heaven I get so excited. I encourage you to read Hebrews 11 and 12 today. It pumps me up and encourages me.

I am learning a lot about life. Living in contentment, specificaly, is a lesson that God is teaching me right now. Check tomorrow for a blog about that. Ohio is really beautiful in the spring. I really miss my hometown back in Mass. When I was highschool I always said that I hated where I grew up and I never knew why anyone would choose to live there. I think one of the reasons God stuck me in small town Ohio to teach me to appreciate where I grew up. I really miss it. I haven't seen the ocean for a few months.



That is about it for this blog. Sunrises over cities are pretty amazing. Catch one if you can. It is worth the 5 am wake up.


JN