five years

I was thinking today about what my life could look like five years from now. Where will I be when I wake up on a cold, January morning in 2016? Who will be president? Will the Cleveland Browns have a super bowl title by then? Will I still live in Ohio? Will anyone close to me pass away? Will I be single? These questions are all the unknowns of life.

I used to think five years was a long time. Now I realize time seems to only move faster. When you break it down, five years is only about 44,000 hours from now. I remember five years ago today. I was a freshmen in high school, studying for my first final exam. I was 15. If you had asked me then what I thought my life would be like now, I would have been probably 99% wrong.

I was reminded in Proverbs today that "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9. It gives me great confidence to know that God knows my entire future and He is directing my life.

For some reason, the future can seem intimidating. But we often overlook the fact that the future does not exist yet, at least from our perspective. How can something that does not exist intimidate us? More and more I am reminded that right now is all we have in this life. God asks us to worship Him now. If our gaze is fixed upon Jesus now, then the unknowns of the future simply become the realities of our present. So worship Him with wholehearted devotion right now. Cause that all we have. And that is all we are asked of.



JN

thoughts on Christmas

I was up late last night, late enough to be awake for the first few minutes of Christmas morning. My sister was asleep on the couch next to me. We have had this tradition of sleeping in the living room every Christmas eve. It started when we both were young and believed in Santa Clause and had a hope of seeing him come through our chimney and eat the cookies and carrots we laid out for him. As the years have gone by, the magic of Christmas holiday has died down just as the belief in the red suited man has. So last night was different, but it was similar in many ways. Jess and I will probably sleep on the couch every Christmas eve whenever we are together for the holiday just for old times and traditions sake. But last night, instead of Santa Clause, I found my mind being swept away by other thoughts. Not magical or festive. These thoughts were of a different flavor. I opened the Bible to the second chapter of Luke and started reading... "And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flocks by night."

You know the story. We all do. We all have heard it. We all have seen it played out in a thousand different versions on a thousand different stages in a thousand different cities. That story has impacted our culture more than any other story. Everyone has an opinion about that story.

So as I am lying there on my couch I glance over at the couch across the living room. My sister is fast asleep. Memories flood my mind of the day I first saw her. As my dad wheeled her out of the international terminal of Logan Airport, the first thing I noticed was that red hood. She was sitting in a stroller and had a red hood. 3 and 1/2 years old. A precious child taken from an orphanage in Manila, Philippines and brought to become apart of our family. 13 years later I can't help but know that there is a reason it was her, and no one else, but her, that joined the Nims family.

"And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger."

As I think about the Christmas story... wow. This thing we all are experiencing. This thing we call life or human existence. That burning ball of fire we are spinning around at 1,000 mph. These relationships we enter. The time that passes as we move from childhood, to adolescence, to adulthood, to seniority. All this just really makes me stop and wonder. I have believed this story my entire life. But do I realize realize the gravity of it? What if this story that we have over-dramatized, culturized, and secularized is actually true? What if there truly is purpose behind this life?

What if we were actually created in a real garden with a real God that really loves us. And we actually chose to disobey him. But this God loved us so much that He really did put up with us for thousands of years of rebelling against Him. And then, when He could not take it anymore, He did the craziest thing ever. God became one of us and walked in our world for three decades only to get nailed to a tree. He lived to die the death we deserved. But then He comes back to life and tells us to go and tell everyone we know about Him and how much He loves us. And then He tells us that He is coming back for us and He is gonna make a new heaven and earth it is gonna blow our socks off.

That is the story. Do I really believe it? Do I really believe that right now, the God of the Universe is with me and is watching me. That He knows my inner most parts. He knows my entire future. He knows where I am gonna be ten years from now, how many kids I am gonna have, and how many bowls of frosted flakes I am gonna eat on my 40th birthday? That He has defeated death and has overcome the world?

Do I live like I believe it? Like it is the best thing that has ever happened to me?
Am I anxious and excited to tell people about my Heavenly Father? Do I really know He is listening to every word I tell Him?


Well, as I think about all that I realize that most of the answers to those questions are probably no, not all the time.

Today, I hope you make some time to read the story. Ask yourself, if it is not the truth, than what is this life about? What are we doing here? Who cares how much stuff we have. Who cares about the ipad and if the Lakers win another championship. What does it even matter if this is all one big cosmic and biological accident?

I know this story is more than just a story. I know it is the truth. O How amazing a truth it is. Would the truth of Jesus of Nazareth change how you live today, even if you have known him for years.


Merry Christmas

JN

anticipating refreshment

I am going home in four days. I really, really miss it. Sometimes it feels like there is so much happening in life, that it is really hard to process all at once. God has been so good, and has been doing amazing things within the community here in Ohio. It has been so exciting to see Him bring people together in unity who have the same heart: to worship Him. He has been doing amazing things in my life as well. Sometimes it feels like life is happening so quickly I just want to slow down, stop, and reflect. I guess what I am trying to say, is, I am really excited to go back home to the North Shore and get away from everything for a few weeks. Since I have lived in Ohio, every time I have gone home, God always has refreshed me. I am really looking forward to that again. I want to come back to Amish country in 2011 refreshed and ready to go.

Often times the ministry talks about spiritual markers and the importance of revisiting them. For me, a spiritual marker in my life is a basketball court in Asbury Grove, Massachusetts. It is the place where I met God 4 1/2 years ago. Sadly, now it feels like a distant memory. Time has taken its course, and I have been growing up. But that summer, my life changed. I met Jesus. I can't wait to step on that court again in a few days. I sometimes forget those times in my life. I forget that God is the same as He was almost 5 years ago. It is me who has been changing and growing. But God never changes. The voice that called me when was 15 is the same voice that calls me now.

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me" John 10:27



JN

perspective

Last night I watched the first two Left Behind movies in the series. I was struck with how recently, I have lost perspective on what really matters in life. Regardless of when the tribulation period begins, we as the Church need to have a biblical perspective on what our lives are accumulating to. I tend to have these stretches in life where I am only focused on my self and what I want out of life. I forget that God has called me to be an ambassador of reconciliation and a light in a dark world. And now, as a college student, it is easy for me to focus solely on my performance in school and miss the bigger picture of why I am in school in the first place. I was just reminded yesterday that every day brings us closer to when Jesus is coming back. There will be a day when people of faith will be persecuted in all nations. Followers of Jesus will have to daily risk their lives for the sake of the gospel. I am thankful that our country still has its liberties and that does not happen here. But even America will become a dangerous place for Christians.

It is so easy to keep our eyes on ourselves and what we think we want out of life. But the reality is, that one day, we will enter eternity and God will ask us what it is we have done for Him. I don't want to offer Him good grades or a comfortable paycheck. I want to offer Him a life of wholehearted devotion, whatever that looks like.

"Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord because you know your labor is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:58

JN

Psalm 139

I wrote a song today for the first time in a few years. It kinda reflects where I have been at these past few weeks. I don't have a title yet. We'll see where it ends up.

You've searched me and known my heart
You've tried me and known my thoughts
from your presence I can not run
I lay bare in Your arms,
I lay bare in Your arms

I had drowned in my sin
ashamed of all my filth
in the sight of a Holy God
but You chose to call me son
yes, You chose to call me son

Daddy I'm coming home
forgive me for what I've done
I'm delivered by your grace
and I'm running into your arms,
I'm running into your arms

You formed my inward parts
in the darkness of the womb
You've always held my life
I've never been hidden from You,
no, I've never been hidden from You

and here I am now
so many years gone by
but You have never changed
I'm still a child by Your side,
I'm still Your child by Your side

Daddy I'm coming home
forgive me for what I've done
I'm delivered by your grace
and I am running into your arms,
yes, I'm running into your arms


JN

Zephaniah 3:17

It amazes me how I can one day be so at peace with life and then all of a sudden, it seems that I can't stop stressing out. I had been having a great week. Then college started piling up. I am two weeks away from finals, and in a few days of classes, I realized that I have at least 5 full days of studying ahead of me. My weeks are packed with ministry stuff. Every night of the week I have been at a worship practice or ministry event. So my next 2 weekends are going to consist of me sitting a table in a coffee shop, studying all day. After having a great thanksgiving break, the last five days have seemed incredibly stressful. Then, today, I get a call telling me a good friend of mine was in a serious ski accident and is in a hospital. Life seems to be concaving in all on sides right now. I don't really know where my emotions are, so that is probably why I am writing this.

I realized a few minutes ago how I am almost always the cause of any stress in my life. Yes, I have a lot of responsibility and work to do in the next three weeks. But it is nothing I can't handle if I just take deep breathes and stay in the present. Every day, my mind tends to make a list of all the things I need to get done. When I dwell and constantly think about what I have to do in the future, then I tend to get stressed.

Zephaniah 3:17. It is a verse that I tend to read to quickly over. It is a verse that needs to be mediated on slowly. It says:


The Lord your God is with you
He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you
He will quiet you by His love and
He will rejoice over you with singing.


I love that God takes all the action in this verse. All that we are to do is sit there, and know there He is with us. Know that He is mighty to save. Be delighted in. Be quieted by his love. And listen as He sings over us. Our action is simply being. God does all the work.

That is so comforting to me, to know that I don't have to do anything except be. Even in the midst of doing math problems and writing English essays, I can be still and know that my God takes great delight in me and rejoices over me with singing.

Hallelujah.

Snow

The pages of the calender continue to change. Months have been passing quickly. And it snows. A lot of people I know really hate snow. I am one of the weird ones who loves it. I can't get over the beauty of watching a million flakes fall from the sky at night. It is just incredible to think that every single flake is different from each other. It amazes me to know that the same God who made each snowflake unique, made me. The Psalms declare that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. It goes on to say that the number of loving thoughts God has for us would outnumber the grains of sand on the earth if we were to count them.

There is a majestic beauty in the first snowfall of the season. It snowed last night I woke up to sight of the ground covered like a white velvet sheet.

I think the reason why I love snow so much is that it reminds me of my family. I have so many memories with my parents and sister out on a snowy day making a fort, or spending a snowy Christmas eve in Boston enjoying the city, or watching my sister fall through the ice into the ocean as I reached down to rescue her. I have really been anticipating going home for Christmas and spending the entire time just enjoying the company of my parents, sister, and old friends. It is funny in life, how you grow to appreciate people and appreciate things that remind you of people you love...things like snow.

If there is something... a smell, a sight, a picture...that reminds you of loved ones, or your cherished childhood memories, I hope you embrace it and know that God delights in blessing His children with good gifts. I am learning how there is nothing in my life that is not a gift from God. He has been teaching me how he deeply desires to bless us with heavenly gifts if we would give Him our heart and give him our lives. It is just incredible how much joy there is in Jesus. There is so much to be thankful for and so much to worship Him for. I don't think I have felt the love of the Father like this in a long time.

I still cannot get that line in Phil Wickham's song out of my head.

I pray that you would know that this is the God we worship. This is our Father of Heavenly Lights who gives good gifts to His children. This is our Savior, and this is our Jesus.

I hear your voice and I catch my breath
Well done my child enter in, in rest
Tears of joy roll down my cheek
Its beautiful beyond my wildest dreams






JN