The Heart of Life

Life is funny. It has been speeding up on me these past few months. Really this entire year it has felt like life has been moving at an incredible pace. My 19th year started here in the home I grew up in. 2 weeks later I was in a car driving to Ohio to start my internship with Off The Wall Ministry. The next 11 months were filled with beautiful friendships being made, many moments when I could not contain my laughter and ended up on the floor, many mistakes, but many learning experiences above all else.
It feels like I packed 5 years into the last one, and I did not realize this until I came home this weekend.

The Heart of Life by John Mayer is one of my favorite songs. It is the title of my blog.

"I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then the circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good"


I love the chorus. Pain throws your heart to the ground. love turns the whole thing around. No, it won't go all the way it should... but I know the Heart of Life is good.

I have been reflecting on my life this weekend. Specifically, the 19 years before I moved to Ohio. Those memories are one of the most precious gift God has given me. Through them, I see how God has worked in me and reflecting on His goodness in my life, He brings me a sense of peace, joy, and....contentment. I would agree with Henry David Thoreau when he says regarding being content in life:

simplify, simplify, simplify


May you know that you are loved by the Creator. May you meditate on that truth and embrace His love. He gives us so many good things in life. Flowers. Trees. Laughter. Family. Books. Music. Sunsets. Feelings. Love.

But the best gift of all us Himself. With out that, all else is a chasing after the wind. We are blown in every direction because we don't have a Rock to stand on.
May Jesus be your Rock, and may you know that the Heart of Life is good.



JN

Jesus and me

Today is the eve of my twentieth year of life. Tomorrow I will no longer be a teenager. A crazy thought. I have been thinking about if for the last few months. It hit me yesterday when I looked in the mirror how quickly time is passing. I got a flashback to my sophomore year in high school when I chose to skip a section of MCAS testing to sit in a bathroom stall and pray. That moment feels like it was only a few months ago. It was over 3 years. I was 16.

In the short 20 years of my life, I have come to know one truth about life. Jesus.
If there is anything that right now I can confidently say about who I am, it is that Jesus Christ is the most important person in my life. Although I do not always live in a manner that would bring Him glory, I know He loves me. He loves me regardless of what I have done and what I will do. He loves me the way I am. He loves me.

I have a hard time understanding that truth. But I do not think it is only meant to be understood. I think it is meant to be felt.

Jesus Christ is the only thing that makes me wake up and get out of bed in the morning. I do not know what I would do if I had to live one day without Him. I would want to die if that was the case.

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose"

-Jim Elliot, died after being speared though the heart by a native people group in Ecuador in the 1940's. He was a husband and a father, and one of the first missionaries to Ecuador.

I pray that the Church of America would not desire to die for the gospel, but that we would live for it.

Whenever I leave this Earth, I know it is because God is done with me down here. I know that my death is in His Sovereign plan, and until that day comes, (or maybe it won't!!) there is work to be done.

"Our Father,
who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be Thy name,
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us our day our daily bread,
and forgive our trespasses as we forgives those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.
For Thine is the Kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever and ever.

Amen"

"All authority in Heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. Do not worry, I will be with you to the very end of the age"

-Jesus Christ





embarking on a new journey of life in my 20th year,


Curtis Joshua Ernest Nims

life

its been a weird few weeks. long. awesome. tiresome. shocking. all at the same time. School has started up for me. It is the fourth week and it is in full gear. So is life.

It is crazy to me how many things can be happening at once time. Sometimes i don't know how we handle it all. I am supposed to be writing an essay for my College Writing class right now, but I feel i need to get my thoughts on paper. so this is the closest thing to paper i got at the moment.

Note: this blog will be just some of my random thoughts about life. i probably won't spell check it.

blogging is werid. liek i have this space and i can put anything i want on it and anyone can read it. i realize that. but at the same time, it is just a bunch of letters strung together in a sequence that delivers a message. what i write goes deeper that what appears on my screen. i can't put my full heart on a web page. i don't even know sometimes what is going on in my heart, or if anything is going on.

sometimes i really suck at listening to people. i have my own agenda sometimes about what i want to talk about. listening is really hard

i think friendships are the most important thing god has given us down here. i dont understand why i am so drawn to value money above faith.

in the midst of these thoughts, i think about what it means to be selfless. is being selfless, me confessing things on my blog for the whole world to see if I want them to tell me how "genuine" or "unselfish" i am? something i have been thinking about lately.

god is really creative. i laughed a lot this week at how different men and women are.


what does good mean? how do we know?

was that question to existential for you? do i even know what existential means?

i have to go to the bathroom really bad. and i am getting a text. i am going to kill two birds with one stone.


...and then write that english paper.


my name is actually curtis, not joshua

C(J)EN